It took me a few days to be able to tell this to co-workers at work without laughing so hard I was unintelligible.

So I was in a store and had to use the bathroom.  While I was in my stall, I girl came in, peed, and ran out.  My first thought was "Gross!  She didn't wash her hands!".  So I go out to wash my own hands but I can't get any soap to come out of the dispenser.  So I try the other one and it has a note saying that you have to push really hard.  So I do and nothing comes out.  So I go back to the first one and, pushing so hard it feels like it's going to break, some soap comes out.  Okay, good.  So then I go to the sink and notice that there are no taps to turn.  You have to push down on the hot to get hot and on the cold to get cold.  You can't have both at once.  So I push on the hot.  Water comes out until I stop pushing on the hot.  So I need one hand to hold down the tap while I rinse the other hand.  This is not working and there's nobody else around.  No wonder the girl that came in didn't even attempt to wash her hands!  I bet she was an employee and so she knew better than to try.  So now I have half lathered soap all over my hands and I'm trying to hurry because my friend is waiting for me in the car.  I look around to see if there is paper to wipe my hands, but there is only an electric hand dryer.  Then I get a brilliant idea.  I'll use my leg!  So I swing my leg up and bash the tap down with my heal.  That keeps the water running while I wash my hands.  Great!  It's a bit awkward with my leg across the sink, my pantleg almost getting wet, and me leaning over to reach the water but now I can get the soap off my hands.  Then an employee comes in.

I swear, it felt like I was on some sitcom or something.  Note to self - do not ever use the bathroom in Linens and Things again.

So I was on the bus yesterday and this guy got on.  Both of his nipples were pierced and he was wearing Mickey Mouse underwear.  This is not information that should immediately be known to perfect strangers yet it was and I almost burst out laughing at the sight of him.  He was wearing jeans and a book bag but no shirt (hence the nipple knowledge) and the waist of his pants were almost down to his thighs (hence the underwear sighting).  The waistband of his underwear was black and said Mickey Mouse.  The front area and a strip of the back were also black with the sides being grey – giving the impression that he was wearing a black Mickey Mouse thong.  I’m just happy I was getting off at the next stop because I really don’t know how long I could have kept my laughter bottled up.  I wonder what he would have done if I had taken a picture.  If anyone out there reading this wears their pants low enough that people can see your underwear, please know that the world is laughing at you.

Yesterday and then again today I almost fell asleep at work.  It started right after I ate breakfast (at work for my first break) and lasted for a few hours.  I had to really focus on what I was doing in order to stay awake and not screw up.  Then it just passed and I was fine.  Weird, huh?

Joe at work was having a bad day today and at one point he started cursing violently – but I have no idea what he was saying.  It honestly sounded like he was speaking Klingon.  So I ask a co-worker if he had heard Joe and what language he was speaking.  Apparently Joe speaks Spanish and that is what I heard.  I’m not sure I believe that, though, because it really sounded more guttural than that.

And now a word about staples.  Staples were invented to hold two or more pieces of paper together.  So why do I keep getting files that have a staple in a single sheet of paper?  What the hell is the purpose of that?  It’s wasteful and (more importantly) it irritates me because I’m the one that has to take the useless thing out!  So to all the people out there that add random staples to single sheets of paper – stop it!  Somebody somewhere sometime has to take the stupid thing out!

Have a good day everyone!

Yay!!  It's the Canada Day long weekend!

So what's happening?  FUN!! 

I'm going swimming, having a bbq, going to see the RCMP Musical Ride (which I've never seen before), going downtown to partake in the awesome festivities of my nation's capital, AND I'm going to have an unobstructed view of the fireworks!  I'll be able to see them from the time they leave the ground!  I also have a maple leaf stamp and red ink (temp body tatoo stuff) so I can be decked out in our flag. 

If you've never been in downtown Ottawa for Canada Day, you're really missing out.  There's an awesome energy from the bazillion people roaming around.  They close a whole chunk of downtown to traffic because it's completely filled with people. There are buskers everywhere and you can buy tons of crazy things from the street vendors.  It's really fun. There are also concerts and shows and tons of other stuff that happen on parliament hill.  They were building a screen and backdrop and I could see it from work it was so huge.

So anyway, that's what I'm going to do today.

I hope everyone else out there has even a quarter of the amount of fun that I'm going to have today!!

The things I overhear at work are quite extraordinary.

This is really funny.  If I had to pick which one I thought I was, I would have picked metal head, since it's one of my favourite types of music.  But apparently I'm a geek, closely followed by prep.  If I didn't have asthma it would be a tie!

--GEEK--

[X] Do you wear glasses?

[X] Do you get good grades?

[X] Do you use an inhaler?

[ ] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?

[ ] Does your mom pick out your clothes?

[X] Are you on the computer often?

[ ] Do you ever get picked on?

[X] Do you look forward to going to school?

[ ] Do you wear a pocket protecter

Total X: 5

--PREP--

[ ] Do you say the word "like" alot?

[ ] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/AE/Aero?

[ ] Do the people in Hot Topic scare you?

[X] Do you giggle alot when you're with your friends/girlfriend/boyfriend?

[ ] Have/do you watch(ed) LAGUNA BEACH?

[X] Do you like pop music?

[ ] Do you want/have a little dog?

[X] Do you laugh a lot?

[X] Do you like the color pink?

Total X: 4

--METALHEAD--

[ ] Do you have long hair?

[X] Have you drank Beer?

[ ] Have you ever been in a Moshpit?

[ ] Do you not believe in God?

[ ] You got a Pentagram on some clothing article etc.?

[ ] You own some spikes?

[ ] Can you play guitar?

[X] Can you growl?

[X] Do you own Boots?

[ ] Do you head bang?

Total X: 3

--GOTH--

[ ] Do you wear black eyeliner?

[X] is most of your clothing dark?

[ ]Do you think about death often?

[ ] Do you want to die?

[ ] Are you a social outcast?

[X] Are you pale?

[ ] Do you like Hot Topic?

[X] Do you enjoy Tim burton movies?

[ ] Are you mean?

Total X: 3

--HIPPIE-

[ ] Is your hair long?

[ ] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?

[ ] Do you want to save the animals?

[X] Do you think war is unnecessary?

[X] Do you like classic rock?

[ ] Have you ever participated in a protest?

[ ] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?

[ ] Is your idea of fun sitting around one person, playing a guitar, and singing along?

[ ] Do you see someone playing frisbee and automatically ask to play?

Total X: 2

--GANGSTA--

[ ] Do you wear do-rags?

[ ] Do you like hip-hop?

[ ] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world? 
[ ] Do you believe he's alive?

[ ] Do you like afros?

[ ] Have you ever said "Fo Sho"?

[X] Do you like to dance?

[X] Do you own 40 cd's or more? (WTF has this got to do with it?)

Total X: 2

--SURFER--

[ ] Do you surf?

[ ]Do you wear flip flops all year around

[ ] Is your hair shaggy/layered

[ ] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?

[X] Do you own any pairs of shorts?

[ ] Have you been in a competition?

[ ] Have you dated a surfer?

[ ] Do you know what 'dakine' means?

[X] Do you think the ocean is awesome? (Took oceanography)

[ ] Do you want to be at the beach right now?

Total X: 2

--SKATER/PUNK--

[ ] Can you skateboard

[ ] Do you wear Skateboarding shoes?

[ ] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?

[ ] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops

[ ] Do you watch the x-games?

[ ] Do/did you have any piercings other than your ears?

[ ] Do you like/wear a mohawk?

[ ] Do you wear Band t-shirts?

[ ] Have you called someone a poser recently?

Total X: 0

--EMO-

[X] Do you cry often?  (Unless movies don't count)

[ ] Do you wear hoodies?

[ ] Do you like soft music?

[ ] Do people not understand you?

[ ] Do you write your own poems or music?

[ ] Do you dye your hair red, black, or any dark color?

[ ] Do you cut your own hair?

[ ] Do you sometimes feel very lonely?

Total X: 1 (or 0 if movies don't count)

--DRAMA DORK--

[ ]Ever been in a play?

[ ]Have you ever seen a Broadway show?

[ ] More than 10 Broadway shows?

[ ] Have you ever been/are you in school shows?

[ ] Does your current job involve theater in some way?

[ ] want to end up working in/for theater

[ ] Can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical?

[ ] Do you break out into random songs whenever/wherever!!

[ ] Do you like the 'Sound of Music'?

[ ] Did you like the Broadway show you saw?

Total X: 0

--REDNECK--

[ ] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?

[ ] Do you drive a truck?

[ ] Do you ride four-wheelers?

[ ] Do you like to get dirty?

[ ] Do you like country music?

[ ] Do you have a broken car in your back yard?

[ ] Do you own a cowboy hat?

[ ] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home?

[ ] Do you watch Larry the Cable Guy videos?

[ ] Do you live on more than 1 acre?

Total X: 0

Repost this with the top stereotype that fits you. (the one with the most Xs).

I start my new job next Monday (May 1st).  Yay! 

Same hours (I think) and the same building.

I won’t have internet access but I will be able to talk on the phone as I will again have breaks and a lunch time.

Here is an example of speedy service – I noticed this morning that the florescent light outside my apartment door was starting to do what I call the death flicker.  When I got back from work today I went straight into the office and reported it.  I then checked the mail (in the lobby with the office), took the elevator up to my apartment, took my shoes off, and walked into my room.  That’s when I heard noises in the hallway.  I opened the door and there was the maintenance man changing the light!

I guess I made a really awesome impression at the job I had two jobs ago – because they’ve requested me back.  It’s been a little over a year since the contract ended.  Several of my co-workers there said they were sad to see me go since I was such a hard worker.  But the work was all done and so they didn’t renew the contract.  Now they want me back and I would like to go – but only if they match my current salary.  The job will be similar to what I was doing before but I’m not sure exactly what it will be.  Their initial offer is significantly less than what I’m making now.  That really doesn’t make it very appealing.  It would be less stressful and my hours wouldn’t fluctuate like they do right now.  Right now I have to stay at work until I finish certain things but at this other job I could just leave when it was time to leave.  I wouldn’t have to deal with people like I do now – I could just sit in my corner and do my work and go home.  I could talk on the phone while doing my work if I wanted to.  Also, this other job would be for at least a year whereas my current job is only temporary.  I was only supposed to have been doing it for 3 months and it’s already been over 7 months.  This current job itself won’t end but the person I’m replacing could come back at any time.  Don’t get me wrong though – I deal with the stress no problem and I LIKE the money I make.

This whole thing came up on Friday morning.  The salary is being negotiated right now and if they match my current salary I’ll definitely take the job but otherwise I’m going to be torn between less money but more job security and more money but no job security.  I also just got a raise at my current job.  So I can’t tell if this job offer is good news or bad news.

In other news, I'm very excited about this coming weekend because I'm going home for Easter!!!  I've started packing up all the presents and stuff I've bought since the last time I went home (in October).  So I feel all upheaved because I'm excited but I'm nervous about my current job situation.  My boss expects the salary negotiations to be completed this week and for me to have trained my replacement before I go home for Easter on Thursday!  So this is probably going to happen very quickly.  And I still don't know how I feel about it.

The roads in the spring are quite bad.  There are hundreds of potholes all over the city, but you grow to expect that.  What I wasn’t prepared for was a pothole at work, in the actual building.  I guess somebody dropped something heavy on the floor in the basement, right outside the elevator.  It’s a concrete floor with this sort of shellac coating and it cracked the shellac and some of the concrete.  As the week wore on, the hole got bigger as more shellac broke off and the concrete gave way.  The thing that’s really odd, though, is that they fixed it with bright red duct tape!!

Yesterday a friend called and said that last night (March 31) she had gotten engaged.  We were all excited for her and she recounted the story about how he had proposed – while each of us listened in on an extension.  After we got off the phone with her, we realized that it was April 1st.  So was it a joke?  Probably not but we haven’t verified it yet!!

I was trying to find something to watch last night and so I began flipping though the channels.  Sometimes it’s funny to listen to what the people are saying as you flip, because it makes a nonsense sentence.  But then I hit on a channel and heard the following conversation (with no flipping):

Guy 1:  “Wait, doesn’t his death mean that the tunnel in your right palm is now gone?”

Guy 2:  “Yes.”

The lesson?  Don’t starting watching Amine in the middle of the show.  You will NEVER figure it out.

The other night I was having a hard time falling asleep.  When I did fall asleep, I dreamt that I was still trying to fall asleep so I went up to the gym and worked out, then took a swim in the pool, and then started doing housework – all in an attempt to tire myself out so I could go to sleep, unaware that I was already asleep.  When I woke up I was really tired and I actually remember thinking “Wow, I shouldn’t have done all that stuff last night.”  Then reality set in which was, and usually is, highly amusing to me.  Too bad virtual exercise doesn’t count!